Have been on the road for a while and did not get much time to post anything.Between airport lounges,boardroom meetings and Taxi rides it struck me that most of the people I met with,looked at or came across were trying to prove a point ,to themselves if not to anyone else.
I am a business Manager
I am a Vice President
I am a go getter
I am an achiever
What no one seemed to exhibit was a simple statement which perhaps drives whatever we do in Life.All this while I felt a very strong urge to stand up and shout :
I am Happy,I am at peace with myself,I am joyous about the world around me.I am…..just I am.
I guess saying that would mean stepping down from my current status of a harassed,overworked,struggling,upwardly mobile executive.I am none of that and I do not wish to be any of that.I just wish to be me not judged by anyone,not playing to live up to my image,not answering anyone or asking any questions to others.Just existing and being alive,aware.
I have always found happiness to be a very rational and logical choice.There is a lot to be gained if I keep myself amused as the world passes by and there is everything to be lost if I chose to crib and sulk.I am not saying that I do not indulge in those activities but I am always aware that I am doing it for the sake of it.Deep down I am unmoved,unchallenged.
Its Janamashtmi today and sadly enough I will be arriving home well after Lord Krishna is ‘born’. Through his life Krishna gave a message be playful,be joyous,to have nothing to loose or to gain.We have many lives.There IS no hurry.Be patient,enjoy the journey.
I had a debate with a friend who was reading Bertrand Russel’s treatise on religion.He asked me the question : why did God create the world ?And I told him what Tulsidas said when he was asked why did he write Ramcharitmanas : Swantah Sukhaya which simply translates : for his sheer satisfaction/pleasure.There cannot be any other reason.This is why we do most of the things we do and perhaps it applies to our creator too.If you consider it God does not have to go through an appraisal process so he ‘HAD’ to create the world else he will be given a lower rating.There is no one who can force him to do anything.He does not owe anyone of us a favor so what else ?He could not believe it and said it is a silly assumption.Well I believe in it as it is the only thing that gives meaning to my life and all that happens around me.I cannot otherwise explain the death,disease and the misery.Just like in a video game you keep playing for pleasure and do not mind if you loose a life ,being alive or dead cease to have a context when you know that it is just a game in which each player has as many lives as there could be till he gets the perfect score,Nirvana,Moksha or whatever else you may call it !
So what have I done about it ??Nothing just been playful doing things for my own pleasure.
I hanged the showpiece in my company guest house in a funny posture and asked the caretaker to make sure it doesn’t change till my next trip.He thought I had lost it and I loved the expression on his face.
I realigned the basketballs at Reebok Office in a certain manner which I thought was funny while waiting for the meeting to start.Those who worked in that office thought something was weird but could not figure out what.I was amused yet again.
I made faces at a 5 year old riding back from school dressed in Krishna attire…………she teased me back.
I smiled .Both of us were children of a playful God.
** I wrote this post on the free internet connection provided at the Airport Lounge at Delhi and saved Rs.30 worth of internet time