Global Warming and Cow fart

Here’s an interesting article from Wall Street Journal refuting the Global Warming enthused Doom’s day scenario.Even if this is not completely correct,it makes more sense to me than those monkeys shouting ” Blah,Blah” from the TV screens.

Anyone who talks without facts and proof about the world coming to an end should be classified as a “terrorist” and be treated accordingly.

Suppose for a minute—which is about 59 seconds too long, but that’s for another column—that global warming poses an imminent threat to the survival of our species. Suppose, too, that the best solution involves a helium balloon, several miles of garden hose and a harmless stream of sulfur dioxide being pumped into the upper atmosphere, all at a cost of a single F-22 fighter jet. Good news, right? Maybe, but not if you’re Al Gore or one of his little helpers. The hose-in-the-sky approach to global warming is the brainchild of Intellectual Ventures, a Bellevue, Wash.-based firm founded by former Microsoft Chief Technology Officer Nathan Myhrvold. The basic idea is to engineer effects similar to those of the 1991 mega-eruption of Mt. Pinatubo in the Philippines, which spewed so much sulfuric ash into the stratosphere that it cooled the earth by about one degree Fahrenheit for a couple of years. Could it work? Mr. Myhrvold and his associates think it might, and they’re a smart bunch. Also smart are University of Chicago economist Steven Levitt and writer Stephen Dubner, whose delightful “SuperFreakonomics”—the sequel to their runaway 2005 bestseller “Freakonomics”—gives Myhrvold and Co. pride of place in their lengthy chapter on global warming. Not surprisingly, global warming fanatics are experiencing a Pinatubo-like eruption of their own. Mr. Gore, for instance, tells Messrs. Levitt and Dubner that the stratospheric sulfur solution is “nuts.” Former Clinton administration official Joe Romm, who edits the Climate Progress blog, accuses the authors of “[pushing] global cooling myths” and “sheer illogic.” The Union of Concerned Scientists faults the book for its “faulty statistics.” Never to be outdone, New York Times columnist Paul Krugman scores “SuperFreakonomics” for “grossly [misrepresenting] other peoples’ research, in both climate science and economics.” In fact, Messrs. Levitt and Dubner show every sign of being careful researchers, going so far as to send chapter drafts to their interviewees for comment prior to publication. Nor are they global warming “deniers,” insofar as they acknowledge that temperatures have risen by 1.3 degrees Fahrenheit over the past century. View Full Image Gloview Associated Press Gloview Gloview But when it comes to the religion of global warming—the First Commandment of which is Thou Shalt Not Call It A Religion—Messrs. Levitt and Dubner are grievous sinners. They point out that belching, flatulent cows are adding more greenhouse gases to the atmosphere than all SUVs combined. They note that sea levels will probably not rise much more than 18 inches by 2100, “less than the twice-daily tidal variation in most coastal locations.” They observe that “not only is carbon plainly not poisonous, but changes in carbon-dioxide levels don’t necessarily mirror human activity.” They quote Mr. Myhrvold as saying that Mr. Gore’s doomsday scenarios “don’t have any basis in physical reality in any reasonable time frame.” More subversively, they suggest that climatologists, like everyone else, respond to incentives in a way that shapes their conclusions. “The economic reality of research funding, rather than a disinterested and uncoordinated scientific consensus, leads the [climate] models to approximately match one another.” In other words, the herd-of-independent-minds phenomenon happens to scientists too and isn’t the sole province of painters, politicians and news anchors. But perhaps their biggest sin, which is also the central point of the chapter, is pointing out that seemingly insurmountable problems often have cheap and simple solutions. Hence world hunger was largely conquered not by a massive effort at population control, but by the development of new and sturdier strains of wheat and rice. Hence infection and mortality rates in hospitals declined dramatically as doctors began to appreciate the need to wash their hands. Hence, too, it may well be that global warming is best tackled with a variety of cheap fixes, if not by pumping SO2 into the stratosphere then perhaps by seeding more clouds over the ocean. Alternatively, as “SuperFreakonomics” suggests, we might be better off doing nothing until the state of technology can catch up to the scope of the problem. All these suggestions are, of course, horrifying to global warmists, who’d much prefer to spend in excess of a trillion dollars annually for the sake of reconceiving civilization as we know it, including not just what we drive or eat but how many children we have. And little wonder: As Newsweek’s Stefan Theil points out, “climate change is the greatest new public-spending project in decades.” Who, being a professional climatologist or EPA regulator, wouldn’t want a piece of that action? Part of the genius of Marxism, and a reason for its enduring appeal, is that it fed man’s neurotic fear of social catastrophe while providing an avenue for moral transcendence. It’s just the same with global warming, which is what makes the clear-eyed analysis in “SuperFreakonomics” so timely and important. (Now my sincere apologies to the authors for an endorsement that will surely give their critics another cartridge of ammunition.) Write to bstephens@wsj.com

Published in:  on 10/30/2009 at 2:57 AM Leave a Comment
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Mayawati and her statues

In his famous Nazm Awaara ,Majaz  is  disenchanted with the way things are around him.He is tormented by the fact that while so many cannot even afford a life of dignity the rulers are indulging in acts of debauchery.Their evenings filled with wine and music  draw their resources from poverty of hungry souls they have as their subjects.He laments at his inability to take away the wealth and status from these satanic hands and set ablaze their palaces and seats of unbridled power.

ले के एक चंगेज़ के, हाथों से खंज़र तोड़ दूँ                           maya
ताज पर उसके दमकता, है जो पत्थर तोड़ दूँ
कोई तोड़े या न तोड़े, मैं ही बढ़कर तोड़ दूँ
ऐ ग़म-ए-दिल क्या करूँ, ऐ वहशत-ए-दिल क्या करूँ

बढ़ के इस इंदर-सभा का, साज़-ओ-सामाँ फूँक दूँ
इस का गुलशन फूँक दूँ, उस का शबिस्ताँ फूँक दूँ
तख्त-ए-सुल्ताँ क्या, मैं सारा क़स्र-ए-सुल्ताँ फूँक दूँ
ऐ ग़म-ए-दिल क्या करूँ, ऐ वहशत-ए-दिल क्या करूँ

I wonder if the laborers who built the statues and stone gardens on acres and acres of land in Lucknow would have felt the same.More than the ugliness that mocks the residents of this city of subtle charms it is the low caste workers who would agree with Majaz.

What would be going on in their minds while hammering away the sandstone day in and day out for month’s together at 40 Degrees temperature ?

What would they be thinking while eating and sleeping on the roads besides the so called historical marvel they were creating ?

Would they be feeling a sense of pride  making  lifeless structures of dead materials when they were defecating in the open ?

Was this the promise of the Dalit and poor upliftment and social justice ??

Was this why they had voted the their Queen to power ?

Going by back of the envelope calculations let us see what could have been accomplished from the Rs 5000 crores spent by Mayawati on parks,memorials,statues and monuments in the state with the lowest social indicators in the world !

Mid day meals @ Rs 2 for 5 crore children 3 years

Toilets @ Rs10000 serving a community of 20 people – For 10 crore people

School Bags and Uniforms @ 1000 a piece – for 50 Lakhs children

Housing @ Rs 1 lakh for rural poor – 5 lakh houses

Solar Lighting  for Village community halls @ Rs 25000 – 20 lakh villages

Ambulances in villages for medical aid @ Rs 5 lakh – 1 lakh

The list could be endless and we can have combinations for optimizing the impact on society.

Obviously for a narcissist the first priority is to satisfy their own ego than to look at others around them even if they are the ones who are enablers of this act of self aggrandizement.It completely beats me how the Dalit cause is strengthened by making statues that cannot speak a word or do a thing.It would have been more worthwhile if Mayawati went around distributing money to whomsoever fell on her feet.If she gave Rs500 on an average, 5 crore people would have done that and at a rate of 1000 per day it was enough to last a life time(whatever is left of it).But education especially math is important to be able to do that and as per Up government that is something least important.

The (non) development data I have is from UP government’s website in which they seem to be laughing at their own numbers when compared to other states and even sub Saharan Africa.The best part is that they can still call it a Rainbow land ! Someone has been really creative and upfront in the information department.

http://upgov.nic.in/upinfo/up_eco.html

Of course the Rainbow in UP is of just one color – blue .What a fool’s paradise  !

I strongly feel that it is not Mayawati’s fault.Someone should have just shown her the website and she would have known that she does not rule Vatican city but UP where Toilets are more important than statues.

Published in:  on 07/05/2009 at 5:24 PM Comments (8)
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No rain is good fortune

It’s monsoon time in India and being an agrarian economy after 60 years of independence all eyes are on the skies.Monsoon is delayed by two weeks.

The Television channels are blaring out forecasts and interviews by the dozens,the leaders are giving hopes,The Met department is correcting itself a thousandth time  ,The stock market is shaking,The priests are performing Yagnas,The professors are lecturing on theories of poverty,the corporates are keeping an eye on the Macro environment……….the farmer is praying for mercy,he is scared.It is business as usual.

In the morning today my 4 year old son was singing a rhyme :

Rain Rain Go away

Come Back another day

Little Johny wants to play

Like a lightening it flashed my mind,I thought about all the Little Johny’s in this big country of mine who want to play if it does not rain.I realized that they would be  chanting the same Mantra albeit with a sinister design.

No rain or drought does is not actually bad.It spells great fortunes and goodness for a variety of reason for all sections of our imbalanced society.

I would say broadly everyone benefits from a drought sans the farmer.Its just the Question of changing your attitude and looking for opportunities where ever they exist. Let’s make a list to further build upon this great Aha :

The Gods : Folks who would never bother to bow their heads in front of temples become overtly religious overnight.They offer prayers,prasadam and other goodies to the almighty and seek their favor.Going by the Geeta when Arjuna ask Bhagwan Krishna O knower of all things please tell me what do you eat ? Bhagwan Krishna replies I eat Bhaav ( emotions ) of my Bhakts       ( followers).So clearly it is a feast for the Gods.

By making sure that Indra stays at home they can continue their party.And believe me if the followers pray from the heart the food gets even tastier.

I don’t want to annoy the almighty so I will quickly move to the next one who will smile even if you throw your shoe at them.

Politicians : After gods who else ? Demi Gods.They are the biggest beneficiaries of this largesse from heaven.The best thing is that the politicians benefit regardless whether they are in power or in opposition.You must be thinking I’ve lost it.But think again – If you are in power you get yourself photographed with emaciated farmers a few times and waive off all outstanding loans to ensure that you are back in power.The Dogs have to be faithful to their masters.

And If you are in opposition you can always blame the misfortune of the current chief  minister which has befallen on the janta(public) and proclaim that the only way out of hell is to vote against the wretched man.Even the Gods don’t like him and they are punishing you for the public for his misdeeds.The opposition has a very good chance of coming back to power if the Government in power cannot arrange for the ransom money in condition one above.

If monsoon fails for two consecutive years the government will most certainly fall.

Police : It’s  hay day for them too.Drought means more fights,more andolans ( crusades),more people fleeing the hinterlands and flodding the slums,more black marketing, more crimes  and everything else that desperate people do.And desperate people also pay a lot of money to get out of desperate situations.

From the money made over the years and your unquestioned access to power you have more often then not managed vast tracks of well irrigated lands which will produce what ever the market demands.Even the Gods can’t touch the rich and mighty.A shortfall translates to premium.It is demand and supply – simple.

People may not buy clothes,they may not entertain themselves,They make stop sending their children to schools but they will certainly eat.So go ahead make money.Nothing personal against anyone.

Media – Oh my God ! how tragic is this scene the otherwise plastic face of the anchor will anounce.

A mother is mourning over the dead body of her only son.They had nothing to eat for days and they kept themselves alive by eating leaves of plants but even they dried up this season.The camera pans left and you have the dead body with a tight close up of the howling mother ,the camera pans right and you have long shot of the dried and barren landscape for miles on end.

Don’t get scared there is a disclaimer  that some of the scenes may disturb you.And you say No way.I have seen worse – Last time when you showed us that amazing video of parts of the body blowing away from a train in motion in Mumbai I  tried to calculate the speed of the train and the speed at which the parts were blowing out to understand the concept of relativity.

One mans’ folly is another man’s fortune.The adage cannot have a better example that the media.When hunger strikes , the poor will hang themselves or starve to death and both will present an unsurpassed opportunity for the media to make the most of it.

In today’s newspaper Shekhar Kapoor says ” We are all vouyers ..” and nothing can be more gratifying than watching a man die while you finish your 4 th course and thank good heavens that the face on the Tv screen was not mine.

At the awards Ms . Dutt can walk away with all the kudos for showing the “reality” so sensitively.

I strongly feel we should have ” reality show” if it does not rain this time.

We can have ten families fight with hunger,pain,humiliation and disease every night on prime time.It will be Mega Final when finalistwill die on the stage just when he was going to get the cash prize of Rs100000 from Bill Clinton.Everyone will be crying but you will be laughing your way to the bank.I am telling you you can rake in millions with this baby.

Anyways lets move to a more sophisticated set.

Professors : Poverty strikes a chord with the audience immediately whether it is governments or corporates or the general Public.Talk about it and link it to your theories of wealth distribution and the noble prize is yours for the asking.It is important to maintain a certain ‘look’ so it seems that you are one of the impoverished souls from your doctrines; its just that you have better clothes to wear.If you can muster a tear or two while emotionally explaining the irony of the situation,nothing like it.You can tell  Dr . Singh over high tea  about your plan to do away with poverty and he will be so impressed with it tha he will make  you the Chairman of  the steering committee on Poverty and Drought relief.Its your choice the if you steer everyone towards or away from it.

Some fools may wonder that with so much Gyan(knowledge) available for free why millions die of hunger every year.But Like I said they are fools and they will not invite you to guest lectures at Harvard and Stanford nor offer you publishing rights for your next rambling”What poverty.Let’s Party !”

So don’t bother Rock on .

Priests -You stand to gain the maximum.Who bothered about doing homas and yagnas ( rituals ) in good times.Now you can really make use of your cellphones and the Mobikes chanting Gayatri Mantra from one Kalyan Mandapam to the other.God called me and said that he is very angry this time so we need to do the Koti Sahastra Maha Paropkari Yagna.It requires the sacrifice of a 100 cows,1000 kgs of Pure Ghee(purified butter) , 5 tonnes of firewood,1001 kgs of Ladu prsadam and 51 pundits chanting shlokas for 555 hours at a stretch.You can always change the merchandise mix depending on who gives you the maximum commision.

Another big source of revenue is predicting the future.It will It won’t.It may , it may not.Astrology is the best source of comfort in times of uncertainty and by saying something as vague as Water Water everywhere but not a drop to drink you can get away with either outcome.”Ghor nahin Ghanghor Kaliyug hai Bhai”

Then there are small links in this big chain of prosperity :

District Magistrates,officers and Babus – Drought relief from centre,Aid from world bank.Donations from HNI’s ( high net worth individuals).Its raining Money,Money Money !!

Engineers and Overseers – New plans for building dams and canals.Another portion of the house can be completed this year and given for rent with which you can pay the engineering fees of Munna.

Traders,Pawn Brokers and money Lenders – Who said cash crunch is bad.Its damn good.If it does not rain you can always double the interest rate from last year.And whatever mortgage is there from last year is obviously yours as no one will be able to pay up.

NGO’s – with so much coming in as donations you can finally shift to your new offices at Nariman point with a view of the Arabian see.Tell Papa I have arrived in a noble fashion.

And yes it’s time to change your old Fab India Kurta.Someone was saying you smell bad.Tell them you don’t get time to change your clothes doing community service and there is no water to wash clothes.You have to use tissue …..even though you are a Kanyakubja Brahmin.After all you work in drought affected areas.

Lastly a small business can also come to the lowest in the hierarchy the undertakers – when so many die you can up charge for performing the last rites before the body starts to rot and smell.

** Disclaimer – this part may disturb you**

But why did you read it ? I said ” we are all voyuers ‘ .Aren’t we ?

Published in:  on 06/28/2009 at 2:39 PM Comments (3)
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Student Politics in UP – HAASIL

The film is a realistic portrayal of Student Politics in UP which to a certain extent explains the absence of educated young people in the Political arena.Caste politics is quite evident from the scenes in which Ran Vijay Singh(Irrfaan khan) is a Thakur and Badri shankar Pandey(Ashutosh Rana) is a Pandit.

Personally the film brings back a lot of memories from the time when I was a student at Lucknow University.

Watch it.It’s just amazing !

This song is a treat too.Don’t miss out.

The complete movie is uploaded on You tube numbered sequentially 1/15 through 15/15.Type haasil Movie in search and see it if you liked it so far.

Published in:  on 04/24/2009 at 8:28 PM Comments (2)
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Poverty and Power in India

“Perpetuate Poverty,Stay in Power “ has become the success mantra for politicians in India.This is how congress has managed to rule us for a large part of our independant history and this is how most political parties are planning thier strategy for occupying seats at Raisina hill. samajwadi

The latest to join the freebee brigade are Mulayam and Amar Singh who have completely lost it as far as I am concerned.They played a very good trick on 50 % brain dead Sanju Baba by nominating him as the Party’s candidate from Lucknow after consulting their friends in the Legal business that he will never get the permission to stand in elections because of his terror credentials.They promised Sanju that if he does not get the Green Sign his beloved and graceful wife Manyata will grace the Lucknow Parliamentary seat.Gullible as ever poor Munna fell in the trap.Samajwadi Party got tremendous air time in the media and Amar Singh practised his  back of the truck poetry to his heart’s fullfillment.Now Nafisa Ali is SP’s candidate and Manyata is away in Bahamas to pick up pieces of her shattered ambitions.Wake up Sanju…you are once again putting your foot in the mouth by saying that the police beat me as Nargis Dutt was a Muslim.You will go to Jail Finally and once and for all and no one will be there with you.Do what you do best – Hop,skip and make faces.You will be safe.

Anyway,Lets come to the main point.

In Ramayana Tulsidas says for Ravana :

Jaako Prabhu Daarun Dukh Dehi,Taaki Mati pehle har lehi.

Which translates to :

Whom God wills to be in Misery,he first takes away their intellect.

This is exactly the case with my native state of UP.By careful analysis of people’s mentality to forever remain beggars so they do not have to work Mulayam singh has come up with a novel scheme.He has promised that if at all he comes to power he will ban English and Computers.Wow ! isn’t that something ?? Full Marks to you Mr Ancient India.I sincerely feel that you should ban education.No maths is needed to slit people’s throats or to pull trigger of country made pistols.Ask your fellow partymen and they will confirm it.You don’t need to talk in English to loot folks at Gunpoint.I am not joking .With no education and employment that’s what Youth will do and is doing right now in UP.

http://http://news.in.msn.com/national/indiaelections2009/article.aspx?cp-documentid=2843801

If you just go to any of the cities in UP you will find house after house with old people whose sons and daughters have moved to other states or countries for employment.In fact it has become a creteria for being worthy.If you are still in UP there is something wrong with you.Crime and Politics are the only opportunities made available to the young people of this God forsaken state.The worst thing is that people have accepted their fate and are ready to live with whatever comes their way.

I read  on someones blog an interesting couplet that sums the mood :

Apna Kyaa? Phir wohi Chandan Phir Wohi Paani         mulayam2

Kou nrip hoye hamein kaun haani ?

Translates to :

I have the same ordinary life regardless of who rules the kingdom

While other states are competing with each other to get big companies to set shop in their states Mayawati and Mulayam have managed to chase everyone away.Poor,illeterate and unemployed make a stable vote bank.They have no option but to keep coming to their masters for their daily bread so they remain alive and keep voting election after election.

I had watched a Movie Narasimha a few years back.Sunny Deol plays a bully who bashes and abuses everyone who dares oppose his master played by Om Puri.One day he goes to ransack the house of a poor woman and his mind changes.He has seen how Om Puri is using him.He confronts Om Puri on the issue of equality and injustice to which Om Puri lashes back ” Kaisi behaki behaki baatein kar raha hai ,Subah se pee nahin kya?” which means how the hell you are talking sense.Are you not drunk today?

The leaders in India are making sure that people are drunk with the wine of free electricity,reservation,loan waivers,illiteracy and backwardness so they cannot see right or wrong.Inaction,incompetence  and stupidity are largely distributed human traits that’s why you find only a few successfull people and hundreds who are just passing time on their way to the grave.For them half  a meal and sleep are the only two things which matter.Their only interest is to keep their bodies alive and every leader worth his namak harami salt is promising just that.

Written and spoken English with computer skills are a passport to freedom from poverty and dependance.They can guarentee a good life and freedom of choice not only to the one who has them but to all his future generations.They are therefore being seen as a threat by politicians like Mulayam Singh Yadav who represents all that is bad and ominous in God’s creation.

Time and again I have fiddled with the thought of going back and settling down in Lucknow but somehow I cannot come to terms with the thought of my illiterate children pointing guns at strangers on the highway.

May be I  am not as educated as Mr Yadav to understand his queer economic theories and that one life must be destroyed to sustain another.

One last Question – Does Mulayam’s son speak in English or know computers?

I am quoting the Hindustan Times of 13th April below :

Samajwadi Party chief Mulayam Singh Yadav does not practice what he preaches.

While the SP’s manifesto, released on Saturday, vowed to abolish expensive English medium schools, stop the use of English in administration and in courts, as well as to do away with computers wherever their function could be carried out manually, the party chief has sent both his sons to English language educational institutions and assisted the setting up of colleges and hospitals in his own village Safai, equipped with cutting edge computer technology.

Mulayam’s older son, Akhilesh Yadav, 36, MP from Kannauj, holds a degree in environmental engineering from an Australian university. His younger akhilesh1son Prateek, 22, after passing out from a leading Lucknow school, is studying management in Britain.

Akhilesh carries two Blackberries and is so comfortable with them that he can type on both simultaneously. He runs his campaign on both Facebook and Orkut.

Published in:  on 04/15/2009 at 1:10 PM Comments (14)
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