The Tax Man cometh…

Yesterday Jug Suraiya’s article in the times of India reignited the pain all tax payers feel around March. As the season changes from pleasant winter to hot scorching summer the tax man’s taqada (reminder) looms large and signals about the heat that one will face in the coming months.

There are several queries that I have :

1.After religiously paying 1/3 of what I make by toiling hard 365 days of the year ,sacrificing so many personal pleasures and enduring so much pain at the work place what I get in return is a TV ad intimidating me that “you pay up or else “.I really do not see how this can be tolerated.

First of all I am sharing with everyone ,many of whom do not do anything worthwhile and roam around with Z security and then I am not even worthy of a decent request ,lest a plea.

When in Mumbai Bhai log do the same we call it Hafta Vasooli.Is this any better?

2.The second most rediculous part is that you can be jailed for not paying up taxes which are so complex and many that it is impossible for anyone to file an impeccable return.On top of it the rules keep changing every now and then with no one taking the responsibility of informing the tax payer.Is there anything called customer service ?

Even if looked at practically I can either do a Phd Thesis on taxation in India or spend my time making money so I can cough it up for my not so fortunate bretheren.

A more decent approach could be –  as per the latest taxation laws or our interpretation you did not pay for X amount so first of all you need to pay it up and secondly we will charge the interest cost what the government has lost.

If someone has been paying 30 % of his income every year ,year on year how can it be assumed that for another 2 % he was trying to cheat.

3.The government arbitrarily keeps deciding what to do with our money without even bothering to ask the folks who funded the enterprise.As a run up to elections very tom,DICK and harry is promising free this,free that and now even free television.What next ? A visit to dance bars with wads of notes in hand to blow up on the whirling ladies.

That is my bloody money and you better watch out before promising all those goodies to the lazy good for nothing bums.

How can some self respecting person accept a free television ? Food and clothes are fine but free television ? I want to die of hunger watching a Nagarjuna Movie.Super !!!

4.The last and most important question How much in enough ? You have tax on salary,Leave travel,education cess,entertainment tax,fringe benefit tax,long term capital gain tax,short term capital gain tax,luxury tax,water tax,tax in your electricity bill,tax on your phone bill,there is even a tax on saving money.If you just leave your money in a saving account and you get some interest you have to pay tax on that too.

Lets talk about what we get in return :

1.Be ready to get blown away everytime you get out of your house.With so many bombs and bullets around even probability cannot save you for long.

2.If you don’t get riddled while having an evening with friends  paying taxes on food,wine etc. ,then live with the fear of being bombed while the gobermint buys 1000’s of bullet proof cars with tax collected from you.Aha it’s so nice and cozy in here.It is madame,how about some cheese and wine !

3.As summer approaches power cuts will become the norm.You can buy an inverter by paying the same amount as your electricity bill for a year and paying tax on the Invoice.The manufacturer piad the Excise duty but you need to pay the sales tax and if you cannot install it yourself a service tax too.

4.Water will be a scarce commodity very soon.Days are not far when you will realize that the health faucet is not responding so you need to find alternative means for maintaining hygiene.You will have to keep the phone number of tanker wallah handy who will deliver water of course with a tax on his bill too.The laughable bit here is that you may not get a bucket of water for the whole of summer but if you have connection you will have to pay the water tax for this period too.

5.Thick skinned that you are nothing is going to happen to you but in case it does you will have to face the ordeal of going to the free gobermint hospital and wait for your turn which may come only when you are long gone.If you are lucky enough to get a bed or something then you will get a number of free diseases along with it.The Oxygen keeps running out so may be you carry your won cylinder.You can buy it at your friendly neighborhood store after paying taxes.

If you choose to be alive and go to a private place be ready to pay tax o n doctor’s fee,medicines,X ray,Pathology etc etc.

But it is not all bad you see.Gobermint is quite considerate and loves all of us.You know why?

There is no tax on purchase or sales side for Fabric sold loose by the meter.Got the idea ? Exactly.

I have something in mind to ensure lasting peace-we should put a reverse drip  sort of a thing so that whatever blood is made during the day a part of it it automatically gets deposited in gobermints coffers – एक दिन का एक पाव.


Only then can this blood sucking monster be satiated.

Subhash Chandra Bose was a far sighted visionary and that’s why he said :

तुम मुझे खून दो मैं तुम्हे आज़ादी दूंगा

लो पियो मेरा खून , और मुझे आज़ाद कर दो


3 comments on “The Tax Man cometh…

  1. burstmode says:

    Yes, America is on the threshold of 50% being dependent upon government. Once that happens, tax and spend socialism becomes entrenched.

  2. burstmode says:

    I think India needs its own version of Ronald Reagan. It will be interesting to see how we react to Barack Obama’s taxation policies which seem so similar to what you are describing above.

    • aahang says:

      The way it works is simple :
      We pay taxes
      Lazy Bums get the goodies
      they vote the govt back
      govt taxes us
      we pay taxes and the cycle goes on

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