When you say you love me

“You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it. You say you love sun, but you seek shelter when it is shining. You say you love wind, but when it comes you close your windows. So that’s why I’m scared when you say you love me.” 

Advertisements

 ­सबसे भले वे मूढ़ जिन्हें न व्यापे जगत गति..

George Michael passed away last week. It’s said he had been fighting depression for a long time. But so was Leonard Cohen and Robbie Williams and so many others before them.Have you ever wondered why most artists, writers, painters, philosopher’s even scientists suffer from mental illness ? 

Is intelligence then a curse or a gift?  A rare gift that challenges one to go find the true nature of reality, to dive deep down in the waters of human excellence and discover the treasure that lies in the darkness of the ocean floor. 

And are the ones who receive this gift the chosen ones ? Are they the ones who carry the burden of moving the human thought, the human civilization forward but just like the wick of the lamp burn in the process of giving light to others. 

But what if there is no truth to be known? What if the nature is hiding no great secrets from us ? What if Charvak and the existentialists are right. Eat, drink and be merry. Enjoy the party till it lasts.

The problem is not that intelligent people or let me say supremely intelligent people don’t want to be happy. The problem is that beyond a point they can’t enjoy the “normal”stuff. They can’t find any fun in the same activities as others around them. They have no option but to look else where. And for sometime they do find happiness reveling within themselves – thinking, writing, painting, singing until they reach a dead end. What to do now their mind asks them?And there are no answers.

हैरान हूँ इस बात पे, तुम कौन हो , क्या हो?

हाथ आओ तो बुत, हाथ ना आओ तो खुदा हो

अक़्ल में जो घिर गया, ला-इंतिहा क्यूँ कर हुआ?

जो समझ में आ गया फिर वो खुदा क्यूँ कर हुआ?

फलसफ़ी को बहस क अंदर खुदा मिलता नही,

डोर को सुलझा रहा है और सिरा मिलता नही

हो भी नहीं और हर जा हो,

तुम एक गोरखधंधा हो

[बुत = idol; अक़्ल = mind/Thought; ला-इंतिहा = boundless; फलसफ़ी = philosopher; बहस=debate]

The mind has a limited capacity and it kind of exhausts itself. There is still so much to know but the barrier is just too high. The intellect pushes itself but it can’t cross the threshold. It doesn’t give up and pushes some more. This is the point where sadness seeps in – a deep sense of melancholy, of loss, of being chained to the limits of existence. Like a bad acid trip the mind starts playing tricks. It does not want to accept defeat, to come down from a high pedestal and accept that it is ordinary like everyone else. It has come too far and there is no way to go back…there is no way at all.

Trust me.

Some African Wisdom..

The guy who came to drop me at the Cape Town airport owned a fleet of cars and dabbled in some other small businesses. As we chatted I came to know he had left his well paying managerial job to be on his own. Upon asking about his decision to “quit” while still in his early 40’s he had this profound wisdom to share :

“There comes a time in an organization when there are only two kinds of people left – the ambitious and thcabbiee insecure. Both are extremely dangerous. I know the organization has been there for past 50 years and it will still be there for the next 50 but the same is not true for me. My time on the planet with my kids, my family and my friends is limited. Yes, I don’t make that much money but I am my own boss. I took you guys out for sightseeing before the drop to the airport and nobody can ask me a question. What sort of value one can put to such freedom, such liberty ? If I consider small things like this I have more happiness, more fulfillment than I was ever having before.”

Usually I drink red wine on flights but this time it was double scotch on the rocks @#$$%&

 

We don’t need no education

One of my favorite couplet from Nida Fazli goes like this :

धूप में निकलो बारिश मे नहा कर देखो

ज़िन्दगी क्या है किताबों को हटा कर देखो

It roughly translates to :

Go out in the sun,get drenched in the rain

To know what life is,first keep the books aside

When I was doing my graduation I wrote an extempore essay on the topic ‘turbulence creates art’.As I picked up my pen to write ,these words from Jim Morrison got imprinted on the paper as if taking a life of their own :

You know the day destroys the night,night divides the day

try to run,try to hide..break on through the other side.

We chased our pleasures here dug our treasures there

But can you still recall the time we cried..break on through to the other side.

I went on to give details of Jim’s turbulent life and his art which made him a cult figure in American history.I also gave example of Vincent Van Gogh who cut his ear and gave it to a prostitute or stood in one position for days together so the frame did’nt move while he painted.People in the town called him the ‘redheaded madman’ and sighned a petition to chase him away.

I was surprised to have managed a 2nd Prize as I was sure I went too off the topic.What was rather interesting was the fact that a Judge in the panel taught English to the guy who won he first prize.How could I,a student of Physics win a prize for creative writing after all.

Sometime small incidents like these leave a deep impression on your mind and you continuously keep looking for answers.In my case the question was if creativity lies within and creativity is what takes the human form forward why do we teach students in schools ,colleges and Universities.What really needs to be done is to give the right environment to nurture talent and it will take care of itself.The one who made the earth,moon and the stars could surely make roads and bridges if he wanted so these cannot have a special place or priority over everything else.Each field of study and knowledge is as important as the other.Don’t we buy $500 tickets for Opera from the money we made in investment banking ?Is it not true that CEO’s secretly crave to be film stars – a career that they sub conciously ditched in their youth by choosing to study 18 hours a day ?

Thankfully OSHO came to my rescue with his brilliant talk on Intelligence when he said “It’s very difficult to escape the university,to go there and come out intelligent.But it is not impossible” .I took the challenge and not only escaped the university but ran so far that it could never catch up with me again.I did management after graduation but I could never sit for 2 hours in the class where people took notes with commas and full stops as professors spoke in macabre tones.In one of the term papers I got just 2 marks out of 20 and the Prof explained in front of the whole class that I had come up with my own theories on International Marketing which had nothing in common to what was ever taught in the class.I took the whole class for a free snack on my great achievement.

While it sounded like youthful audacity to challenge the establishment,after practicing active business for close to 15 years now I have realized that I was right.Not that what I said was better than Kotler but there is no solution that’s final and to be a great marketeer and an innovative business person you have to be a little more creative than your competitors.While Kotler will not come to your rescue each time there is a situation ,your own creativity and innovation will.So does’nt it make sense to nurture these true friends in need.If you have spare time ,learn what not to do from other Gurus.

I am not against education but I somehow cannot figure out how someone who can see a trend in data points more intelligent than someone who can sketch a perfect portrait.How someone who can calculate faster or speak better English more ingenuous than someone who can sing a song with the right melody,lyrics and meter.It’s just that they are intelligent in a different way but we are not able to appreciate it.

It is rather dumb to think that way if you take a closer look.While the college,teachers and parents will build a kind of mass hysteria that the world will be lost if you do not get through the engineering the fact is that most of my friends who did get through the exam are not even at the same professional level as some of the others who got a 2nd class.People stop tracking each other after school or college else they would figure out for themselves what big dimwits they have been slogging it out through rain and shine.The society is composed not only of engineers and managers it has politicians,lawyers,doctors,writers,journalists,singers actors,businessmen and even carpenters,electricians,mechanics.And believe me if your sewer line gets choked you will suddenly realize what a great guy your plumber is,how clever he is in get things as they were almost effortlessly.Ingmar Kamprag of IKEA is a carpenter and Amar Gopal Bose of BOSE corp. is a sound Mechanic if you really think of it.Only difference is that they are the best ones at their job and they are godd business men too.

We are talking simple law of supply and demand here.If you can figure out what you are really good at ,keep working on it as if driven by a mad passion and do not worry about the outcome.If there is water there is thirst,if there is wine there is intoxication,if there libido there is sex.The creator has taken care of that.Why do you think people are ready to pay 200 million dollars for a few strokes of paint scattered over a piece of canvas.You have to just find your niche,demand will follow.

Somehow the education system through out the world has missed the point big time.The entire objective is to create mediocre clones who are OK at a lot of things but Good at nothing.Loads and Loads of mechanical robots falling over each other like Zombies,drifting aimlessly in a strainght line Que that leads to extinction and death.I am sure you pictured it by now.

We don’t need no education…….REALLY !

I may have a vested interest to explain my strange ways and under achievement so listen to Sir Ken Robinson talk on TED.com

If today be sweet..

Ah, fill the cup; – what boots it to repeat                               khayamportraitsm3

How time is slipping underneath our feet:

Unborn tomorrow and dead yesterday

Why fret about them if today be sweet !

March end brings some relief as one can take the unused leaves accumulated during the year.To my delight after the 15 leaves that could be spilled over as encashments I had still got 3 more left.I promptly applied yesterday and the powers that be obliged.

With the managerial instinct that has now become a second nature I ‘planned’ to do nothing and indulge myself.

The first thing I decided was that this tired old body of mine needs some pampering.So I landed at Secunderabad club allowing Solomon Joseph the master  masseur to work his magic.A feeling of calm enveloped me as the Worldspace radio played

दिल ढूंढता है फिर वही फुर्सत के रात दिन

बैठे रहें तस्सवुर ए जाना किए हुए …..

image060

I am not sure when the tassavur e Jaana ended , the REM sleep started and I dosed off.The only thing that bothered me was showing my bums to a stranger but then I let it be …..

अछ्छा है दिल के पास रहे पासबान ए अक्ल

लेकिन कभी कभी इसे तन्हा भी छोड दे

Before your imagination yields to fantasy I want to tell you that my massage session lasted as it should have.In true Impireal style the orderly brought a towel along with a soap and shampoo so I can get rid of the oil factory that was me.

A luxurious hot shower bath of 30 minutes infested in me the spirit of a Gora Saheb (quite literally now) and I walked out of the parlor after tipping the staff handsomely.

A good thing about Secunderabad club is that it has a very good library but more than that you can get a cup of English Tea in the Lounge next to it.After borrowing a copy of  Dante’s the Divine Comedy I ordered for a cup of finest blend they have.Come on now….stop being Jealous.image059

Dante is a bit pretentious.Isn’t it ? I did look at other titles but whether vanity gave in to reason or reason gave in to vanity I am not sure.I had always picked up this one at the bookstore and kept it back thinking what if I do not understand a word of it – I will be short of cash for the wisdom I could not acquire.So this was my chance.

I guess 40 minutes were enough for me in the fabled land of Gods and angels so I decided to make my move into the real world.But as they say in Hindi “मुल्ला की दौड मस्जिद तक” so I found myself parking the car in front of Odyssey – the Books and Music store.They had a flat 50 % off sale so I ended image067up buying twice the stuff at half the price.Nice Tag line – will try to remember it when I open my own retail store.Twice the stuff at half the price,twice the stuff at half the price…..shut up !Apart from others I picked up one very interesting book about why genius and hash,heroine and alcohal are inseperable.The book maps the life histories of a number of Poets,thinkers,scholars,Musicians to drive home the point.

I think it will serve as an apt explanation for my psychedelic leanings.The genius in me has the right to be nourished albeit with foods (aka drink) considered unfit by lesser mortals.Have parked it for the late night reading.

Body is done,mind is taken care of and now we must have something for the senses.Again your ugly serpent is raising its head.I am a married father of two with limited means and imagination so nothing sensual for me.I decided to watch a movie all by myself – LCD screen,Full sound,Pop corn,Leather sofa,air conditioner……and me.I chose The Bucket List – a story of two old guys who meet up in a cancer ward.Edward ( Jack nicholson) owns the hospital and Carter(Morgan Freeman) is a car mechanic but they come close thanks to Ed’s policy of bucket-listhaving two patients in every room.He is not running a spa..he says.As they get to know each other they decide to explore the world and do what they have always yearned but never had the chance.On their bucket list are things such as kissing the most beautiful girl in the world and Diving from the sky.I would say a good watch smiles,tears,compassion but what was uncanny for me was that in one scene Ed asks his board members in a meeting” Have you read Dante Alighieri’s The Divine Comedy?’ No big deal but considering the fact that I wrote half the post before watching the movie, it was weird.

The problem is that it keeps happening with me all the time.Just a few days back I was reading India in slow motion.There was a chapter on Sufism which I really liked.When I came out of my room I was  puzzled to see my wife was watching a program on National Geographic that was about Sufis and showing the same places I was just reading about. Strange.

ना जाने नक्शत्रों से कौन

निमंत्रण देता मुझको मौन

Curiously, the most searched and viewed post on my blog is the Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra.I never thought it would get any views but I posted it as I wanted to remember the meaning and listen to it  whenever,where ever I wanted.Now every time I check the blog stats it appears in the most searched and clicked classification.

shivji1

I am hearing his call.Is he hearing mine too ?

A million times ….

Says Majaz Lucknowi :

Humdum Yahi Hai, Rah-Guzaar-E-Yaar-Khush Khiraam
Guzre Hain Laakh Baar Isi Kahkashaan Se Hum

हमदम यही है ,राह- गुज़र – ए – यार खुश खिराम

गुज़रे हैं लाख बार इसी केह्कशां से हम

This slow pace,this path of bliss has been my companion

I have passed this galaxy a million times…

Says Marcus Aurelius  ;

Even if you are going to live three thousand more years,or ten times that,remember :you cannot loose another life than the one you’re living now,or live another one that you’re losing.

The longer amounts to the same as the shortest.

The present is the same for everyone;its loss is the same for everyone;and it should be clear that a brief instant is all that is lost.For you can’t lose either the past or the future,how could you lose what you don’t have ?

Remember two things :

1. that everything has always been the same,and keeps recurring,and it makes no difference whether you see the same things recur in a hundred years or two hundred,or in an infinite period;

2.that the longest lived and those who will die the soonest lose the same thing.The present is all that they can give up,since that is all they have and what you do not have you cannot loose.